Juxtaposition

Cupcake, Cupcakes, Cupcakes!

2010-07-19T21:03:00.000-07:00

This was an order for over 100 cupcakes, two heaped trays of dipped strawberries, and a baby cake for the top tier. It was a surprise party for her husband's 60th birthday, which meant a lot of covert phone calls during the planning stages!

The cupcakes are in two sizes: Standard and Mini. Both sizes are in an assortment of flavors: White with Raspberry Filling and Almond Buttercream Icing; Strawberry with Strawberry-Rhubarb filling and Strawberry-Vanilla Buttercream Icing; Carrot with Cream Cheese Icing and Filling; Spice Cake with Cream Cheese Icing and Filling.
:The middle tier was filled with the mini kaleidoscope cupcakes.

Larger kaleidoscope cupcakes were placed on the bottom tray.
Each cupcake design is absolutely unique with different patterns and colors piped with royal icing, making for a very festive centerpiece.

Real Men Wear Boots

2008-05-28T22:24:00.000-07:00

As my sister and I were watching Brendan Fraser disembowel the undead in The Mummy, we observed that it was a shame more men didn't wear boots. So, men - take note. Boots are not just for women, because real men wear boots. Knee-high, fur-lined or leather boots.

Aragorn is commanding yet not pushy or forceful. He is the perfect leader. Reliable, supportive, gentle, and strong - Aragorn's worn leather boots fit him perfectly.

King Arthur - another brilliantly strong leader - and his generally trusty second, Lancelot also sported boots. Can you get more manly than the Knights of the Round Table and Britain's legendary king?

Maybe it is possible - if you look to the realm of heroes and superheroes. Superheroes Spiderman and Superman, as well as great hero Batman, all wore practical boots that coordinated perfectly with their hero costumes.

Another dashing booted hero is Robin Hood (depicted here by Errol Flynn). He boldly robbed the rich to feed the poor: in keeping with this his boots are strikingly simple and unostentatious.

I believe every woman (except Elizabeth Swan) had fallen in love with Jack Sparrow by this point. The slightly eccentric pirate wears worn leather boots and shows them off proudly - just as he does everything else.

Three of Narnia's greatest kings stand here, facing insurmountable odds and myriad foes, booted and fearless. The Telmarine Prince Caspian (soon-to-be-king), King Edmund in traditional leathers, while High King Peter (My favorite fictional character since I was six) has his leather boots underneath the unyielding metal of armored boots.

Whether you're a fan of the gun-toting smuggler or the ethical Jedi, the characters of Star Wars are clearly "Real Men". Here, Obi-Wan Kenobi and Han Solo demonstrate how truly manly boots are.

Would you mess with either of them?

And here is Rick O'Connell, ex-convict, adventurer, explorer, action hero, slayer of the undead, husband and father, former french legionnaire, and gun-slinger - the one that inspired this blog. Be sure to admire his boots: after his guns, his boots are his favorite part of the outfit.

Alexander the Great - wearing fur-lined, lace-up boots - conquered the known world and was master of an empire by the time he was in his early thirties. That takes tenacity.

Also pictured here are The Doctor (portrayed here by the brilliant David Tennant) and Jamie McCrimmon (Frazer Hines), both of whom could pull off boots in a way almost unimaginable. That's how good they would be. Because it also takes a Real Man to smile with such enthusiastic abandon and only a Real Man would wear a kilt.

Honorable Mentions: Real Men that Wear Boots, but I couldn't find pictures for:

All of Jane Austen's heroes. They are men. Captain Wentworth, Mr. Darcy, Mr. Bingley, Mr. Kingsley, Colonel Brandon - all of them.
Captain Malcom Reynolds, of Firefly and Serenity.
Ardeth Bay, also from The Mummy, the intense and unfaltering leader of the Magi.
Jean-Luc Picard - okay, so he probably only wore gravity boots. But he is still SUCH a man. He could take Riker or Kirk down anytime.
The Journey Into Space Crew: Captain Jet Morgan, Frank Rogers, Lemmy Barnett, Doc Matthews, and Stephen Mitchell. These five men stopped the Martian Invasion Fleet while held captive and cut off from Earth entirely.
... and so many more!

Mens Sana (Reposted)

2008-04-21T10:14:00.000-07:00

Mens sana in corpore sano...

A ghost with a martini is at the door
His pet elephant is on the wall
I did not take the drink.
Why do the monkeys call?

Random phrases swirl through my mind.
My thoughts are out-of-control, one-of-a-kind.

Healthy mind in healthy body...

Cold moon shine stains the heavens
While the hot, envious stars glow
I will not be a monster.
Why do I want to go?

Random phrases swirl through my mind
My thoughts are out-of-control, one-of-a-kind.

Sanus, Sanus, Sanus...

Slender long scissor blades look so tempting
Pain killers, more than enough for two.
I do not want to die.
Why does he want me to?

Random phrases swirl through my mind
My thoughts are out-of-control, one-of-a-kind.

Swish and Swirl, Tap and Twirl.
My thoughts are dancing.
Dancing in black lace.

Warmth

2008-02-26T08:48:00.000-08:00

This week I was able to drive back from the mall with my windows rolled down, with no coat on, playing my "sunny music" (The Postal Service), drinking in the sunshine and a slight cool breeze - I think this means that winter is ending!

Goodbye 2007

2008-01-01T22:52:00.001-08:00

2007 has been a roller-coaster of a year for me. Of course, I say that about most years. They have highs and lows. This year, I deepened my relationship with shoes. Only recently have I realized that I love a fictional character and a dead man - no wonder my relationships never work out!

This is a first of two posts - this one will record some memorable aspects of the past year. The one to come, will list things I expect and look forward to in the year to come.

I saw quite a few movies this year, so I'm just listing a few of my favorites -
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Hot Fuzz, Fracture (I need to watch this one again as I was too tired to follow it all the first time), Stardust (Cheesy - but I liked it all the same. Especially Billy the Innkeeper and his 'daughter' Bernard. And Captain Shakespeare's right hand man is hilarious.) National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets (A combination of history, conspiracy, and Riley Poole - how could I resist it?!?), Shrek the Third (I loved this one primarily because of the amusing portrayal of King Arthur and Lancelot), and 300 (Simply fantastic. I love movies with such epic plotlines and tragic heroes).

The movie Kickin' It Old Skool by no means deserves to be included in that paragraph as it is a thoroughly horrible movie. However, my reasons for watching it have made it memorable. So, this horrible movie stays on my blog for 2007 memories.

I can't actually remember all of the books I have read this year. I tried - there are just too many!

Recently, I have been reading through the Golden Compass Series along with some friends at work. Though I haven't finished, I have enjoyed them so far. Except for endings - I don't like the endings I've read.

Wuthering Heights, a book I abandoned years ago, I have just finished reading. I enjoyed it thoroughly, preferring it to Jane Eyre (the work of the other Bronte sister) and was quite happy with the ending of a dark and depressing book.

Persuasion, which I received as a birthday gift and read for the first time, was satifying in a way only Austen's works can be. Jane Austen is probably my favorite author and I empathized with her heroine in Persuasion.

Anna Karenina - do not be daunted by the massive size of the book! It is a marvelous (though emotional) read and very worth the effort and time.

As ever, I continued to read my Agatha Christie mystery novels - She is another contender for the title of Mirranda's favorite author. I even successfully solved one case this summer! Though I did it with the wrong evidence, so I'm not sure it counts...

My favorite moments from this year include:
My 20th birthday - Rob and David, Elia and I all dressed up and went out for dinner before returning to Elia's apartment and swimming.

Traveling to the UK with my dad and sister in October - two weeks of nothing but good memories! It was especially good because the two months before leaving were bloody awful! I needed that rejuvenation.

Despite the heinous situation that sparked my departmental transfer in May, I am pleased that it happened. The thought of leaving the job and people I knew scared me, but I made that move. I don't regret it at all and would not go back. I love working in the Bakery; I make pretty things out of frosting, which is an awesome job; and I really like my coworkers there and the new people I've met, befriended, and hugged since then.

My snowball fight at work last winter - William and I had nothing much to do except attack each other with snow. He won that round - but in 2008 he'll lose the rematch! I am determined.

In the intensive summer term Spanish course I took, I made friends and lost them. My best memory of the class is actually on a day with the worst professor. I was so bored, I had begun to doodle and scribble on my notebook instead of listening to the dull man that couldn't speak the language very well. Result: I wrote a poem in Spanish (the language) in Spanish (the class).

The most important memory of the year occurred in October. Not long before I left for England, I visited some friends in Portland. On the way home, I had the chance to apologize, ask forgiveness, and talk with a friend I had hurt and pushed away. I am so thankful we have a second opportunity to build a friendship and I look forward to the growth of our relationship in the new year.

The worst moments of 2007: (I'll make this brief as I would rather not dwell on these)
Movies: Kickin' It Old Skool
Books: I don't remember reading any bad books. I loved them all!
Moments:
My first accident: There was a collision with a School Bus.
Work: I was harassed at work twice this year. Once on Valentines Day by a very creepy boy that no longer works there (thankfully) and a second time which prompted the transfer I mentioned earlier.
Separation and Betrayal: I lost several people this year. I gained others, but the loss is still a staggering blow.

The Answer

2007-12-24T23:10:00.000-08:00

It is interesting, at times to return to old posts, read old thoughts, and when possible see the answers to my posted questions. On October 11, I wrote this:

"Confrontation: Will discussing a problem help? Does jealousy acknowledged mean jealousy averted? Does this shared distance and shared envy bring us together, provide us with support - or will it serve to pull us apart even farther? Perhaps the knowledge of each other's feelings and observations will serve to protect us. Either way, I'm glad I could start the conversation. At least now, we KNOW."

The answer is yes. Not only did acknowledgment draw us together, binding us close, it helped to erase and eradicate the troublesome attractions and petty jealousies causing such distance. I am so glad!

Stupid People

2007-12-12T21:39:00.000-08:00

A day at work is generally highlighted by the occasional dim-witted or unthinking customer. They give us stories to share and laugh at during the long hours in the bakery. Like the woman who asked about the difference between "cinnamon rolls" and "cinnamon rolls with raisins"; or the woman who thought we sold a 1/4 sheet cake without cake - just 2.5 lbs. of overly sweet frosting molded into cake shape; or the people who ask for the thing they're standing next to - or even holding.

But today's customers surpassed this.

When I was first transferred to the bakery, I was warned that a pervert occasionally calls and - as my manager so delicately phrased it - "pleasures himself while we listen". Repeated efforts have been made to stop the calls, which have been made for the past several years, but only one has met with any success. However, I have spent nearly eight months without needing "Screaming Mimi". Today I did.

I answered the phone with a smiling "Service Bakery!" as usual. Fortunately, I left off my name - something I will continue to do now. At first I heard nothing. I pressed the phone closer to my ear.

"Hello?" Then I heard. Realized. I hung up, swiftly. I stared in shock at the phone, willing it not to ring.

It rang. "Service Bakery." I was not smiling this time. I had to answer - but I knew who it was. Just as I'd expected, he was back. I called for Jessica and we located our trusty "Screaming Mimi."

Screaming Mimi is a small plastic doll with a piercing voice box. Give her a squeeze and she shrieks - loudly. Holding her against the phone's mouthpiece amplifies the screams which resonate in creepy guy's ear. He didn't call back.

I had to deal with another creepy guy later that day, but he was a coworker. I can't Mimi him.

To round my day off, just as I was reaching the end of it, a customer reported that she had seen three teenagers spitting on the doughnuts in our case. I had to throw away 97 doughnuts that were perfectly good - except for someone thought it would be funny to spray them with diseased saliva. How is that funny?!?

This is why I hate creepy stupid people.

Late Nights

2007-12-10T11:12:00.000-08:00

It's fantastic to look back on a weekend, and realize that some important things happened almost without being noticed during all the late night silliness.

I talked about a "furry, soft, big dog" and aliens. I, and another person, was thrown over someone's shoulder and carried. I watched wriggling wiggling worm dances outside a restaurant as laughing strangers passed us by. I talked about Nightstrike, death threats, British beer, newts, kissing (NCMO's for the Fox students), work, The Beatles, serial killer goalies, and my own diabolical snobbery. What nonsense!

Yet, in the midst of all this, I unexpectedly ran into someone I wanted to see and someone I never see; I spent time with a returned friend; I had a relationship restored; I let go of something painful; and I started building a new friendship.

There's something to be said for late night antics after all.

2007-12-03T21:11:00.000-08:00

I used to be upset with someone - now I feel differently. I have gained so much while this person has only lost. I pity them - because they haven't even noticed or understood the loss. Tragic, to be so unaware.

Wanted

2007-11-28T22:30:00.000-08:00

Wanted: Male friend willing to visit me at work with flowers and impersonate my boyfriend.

Okay, just kidding. However, this was definitely the best solution that Rachel and I came up with. The older men of my work place seem to think that I have no higher aspirations or criterion than to be with an old man working a low wage part-time job. They've started asking again...

Oddity

2007-11-14T08:28:00.000-08:00

That's another good word: Oddity. But I am not writing about good words today, just something that is odd.

Years ago, when I first began listening to the Beatles, I soon fell in love with George Harrison's voice. However, I later discovered (to my great dismay) that the lovely George had already died. My plans to marry a Beatle had to be abandoned.

A few months ago, as Paul McCartney's breakup with Heather Mills was splashed about in the media, a new plan occurred to me. I could be Paul's next wife! I liked Paul nearly as much as George and he had the bonus of actually being alive still! I have to act fast though - rumors say he already has a new girl.

It is a little bit odd that my intended husband is someone my grandmother fancied at my age....

Returns

2007-11-04T10:16:00.001-08:00

Replete with new music, life plans, clothes, relationships, and books, I have returned from England.

I have mixed feelings about this. There were people I missed - some of them I even want to see. I've probably already angered management at the store by wandering around, teasing and laughing with the co-workers I missed. I spent time with people who want me to move in with them - and I wish I could. And I've seen people I didn't expect to see so soon or to treat me in the friendly way they did. But there were people I don't want to see again for a long time, and they are now inescapable. I'm even happy (mostly) to be back at work, in relative stability.
It's lovely to have my own books and food and bed back - but I miss the tiny little room where I can fall asleep looking at peaceful English streets.

All of this is supporting the unexpected decisions I have been making. I've never known myself to be so decisive and bold. I pray that my nerve holds, if only a little longer, because this is the only way out. The oddest thing is, I was told that this would happen. Months ago, someone told me that this trip was going to be one of those big, life-altering events. I disagreed, as I had been to England before. As excited as I was to be going, it hardly qualified as life-changing. Clearly, I was mistaken.

Also, I want to visit the Peaks district.

2007-10-28T02:55:00.001-07:00

Too much has happened since I last updated to share. I'll have to write more details later. For now, I'll condense it down to three points.
1. I love spas! My aunt Tracy persuaded me to go with her; I went reluctantly, but now I think I may be addicted. An hour in the spa: saunas, swimming, steam bath, heat rooms, foot baths. Then a professional massage: amazing! To follow, another hour in the spa.

2. I visited Burghley House yesterday; they filmed a lot of Pride and Prejudice around Stamford (where I am staying) and at Burghley House. I looked for Mr. Darcy.

3. I miss people. I know it has really only been a short while; but even when you're having an amazing time it is hard to feel completely cut off from people you care about. On the other hand, this makes my decisions about my future much easier.

Sherwood Forest

2007-10-23T12:20:00.000-07:00

For this week, the whole extended family is staying in Sherwood Forest at some sort of holiday camp. So far, it has mostly just involved tickling and chasing my three young cousins. They give me a rest occasionally, and let me be tickled and chased. Thoughtful, eh? They are lovely though.

This afternoon, we went for a bumper boat race on the lake in pedalos, after three hours of swimming in the morning. The "subtropical swimming paradise" is complete with a large wave pool, a pirate paddle pool, the "grand cascade" raft slide, two shorter tube slides, hot whirlpools, hot springs (which come with a steaming waterfall and a cold plunge), and the "wild water rapids". After nearly flashing one of the lifeguards on the rapids, I'm not sure if I want to go back! Especially as there are so many other things to do. Tomorrow, my aunt and I are thinking about heading to the spa for a nice pamper session. And then perhaps the studio, for hair and nails? We'll have to see how long we can persuade someone to babysit.

Just over a week to go! I'm trying not to think about it.

Day Two

2007-10-20T11:00:00.000-07:00

(Clock House - I have always loved the look of this property)

Vacation is so very relaxing. The ability to do absolutely nothing is so very rare for me.

Today was the most inactive day I've had in a long while. After breakfast, we read and relaxed and waited for my Great-uncle David and his wife Grace to arrive. We spent a laughter-filled day with them, teasing each family member by turn and looking at masses of photos from everyone present. And having a cup of tea nearly every hour to bolster our spirits - by the end of the evening, we'd drunk a total of 29 cups of tea.

(Me, Uncle David, Aunt Grace, Nana, Grandad and a sliver of Anwen)

Day One

2007-10-19T12:25:00.000-07:00

Today, I woke up to have a proper cup of tea - my addiction is being fed and furthered here - and a bowl of cornflakes. After breakfast, we walked into town for the market, which is set up every Friday.

We changed some of our dollars for pounds at a terrible rate of exchange. From there, Anwen wandered the shops in the high street and the market stalls. We stopped first at Anwen's favorite shop, Dorothy Perkins and visited the newly remodeled New Look, Marks & Spencers, and a delightful little shop called the Black Orchid. Anwen and I both purchased several bits of jewelry for ourselves and as gifts. We walked past a fruit stall, where the owner advertised his produce by shouting "It's all good English fruit! None of this is German!". Later, we walked past the butcher's van, where we heard "I've got pork chops - Real, English Pork Chops! They're getting as rare as Real English Men!".

After the market, we walked home for lunch, read and did homework, and - one of the greatest delights of vacation - took a nap!

Later, after dinner, I got to do something I haven't done for two years. I watched my favorite tv show, Corrie, while sipping my third cup of the tea for the day. Oh, the wonders of being in England! Now, the family is gathered around the old comedy, Rising Damp.

I seem to have adjusted quite well to the time difference, thankfully. One more cup of tea (Delish!), and we'll be off to bed. I love England.

Safe Arrival

2007-10-18T09:52:00.001-07:00

After 17 hours of travel time - rather than 22 - we arrived in England. We arrived at Heathrow at about 11, cleared customs by 11:30, and walked out into an warm and sunny October day.

Even though I've lived in America for 20 years, every part of me feels like I've come home again. I can't wait to enjoy it!

Timing

2007-10-15T23:28:00.000-07:00

I have the worst timing.

Once, I had a crush on a guy two years before we met.
Once, I went to a party 5 hours after it started.
Once, I mailed a letter two months after I was meant to.
Once, I woke up half an hour after I needed to leave the house.
Once, I discovered I didn't have my bag of stuff for work, as I walked into work, already ten minutes late.
Once, I cared too much too soon.

Now: I get a severe cold two days before leaving the country. Being sick leaves me so messed up - I haven't eaten in fourteen hours and I don't want the food in front of me. I can barely breathe, and I am losing my voice.

Argh.

On the other hand - I am going to England in ONE more day!

Et tu?

2007-10-14T23:39:00.001-07:00

I have met my Brutus. I feel the slow agonizing twist of the unexpected knife. The pain of betrayal, worse than any physical pain. Et tu, my friend?

Garage Sale of Thoughts

2007-10-11T15:58:00.000-07:00

Just as a garage sale consists of a disorganized mass of objects - some treasures, some trash - this post is an eclectic mix. It includes everything (that I can remember) that I have meant to post for the past week or two.

Firstly, I love the fall! The liquid, golden sun trickling through holes in the thick clouds, lighting the brilliantly colored leaves and sparkling raindrops. This season is breath-taking. Plus, I get to wear my sweaters and scarves and hats and mittens and boots. :)

Confrontation: Will discussing a problem help? Does jealousy acknowledged mean jealousy averted? Does this shared distance and shared envy bring us together, provide us with support - or will it serve to pull us apart even farther? Perhaps the knowledge of each other's feelings and observations will serve to protect us. Either way, I'm glad I could start the conversation. At least now, we KNOW.

And finally.... I leave in five days! I am so excited. :)

Encroaching Age

2007-09-19T23:43:00.000-07:00

This week has made me feel old. Until a few weeks ago, I felt as if I was still recently out of high school. My senior year, the graduation ceremony, the summer before college - these are recent memories! And yet, my little sister is now a senior.

Now, not only do the junior high students seem tetchy, high school students seem young and naive. Even worse, when I visited Fox yesterday - the college freshman looked too young! Not only could I tell who was and was not a freshman, as I caught snatches of their conversation I found myself shaking my head at their youthfulness. When did they become so young?

I feel so old! And unprepared.

It doesn't help that my back hurts all the time now.

My Only Love

2007-09-03T00:51:00.000-07:00

You want to fall in love with a shoe, go ahead. A shoe can't love you back, but, on the other hand, a shoe can't hurt you too deeply either. And there are so many nice looking shoes. --Allan Sherman

I did not have three thousand pairs of shoes. I had one thousand and sixty --Imelda Marcos

I'm not home, but my shoes are. Leave them a message. --Carrie Bradshaw's answering machine on Sex and the City

It's easier to put on slippers than to carpet the whole world. --Al Franken.

I still have my feet on the ground, I just wear better shoes. --Oprah

A vigorous temper is not altogether an evil. Men who are easy as an old shoe are generally of little worth.
Charles Spurgeon

Please sir, you can take my Fendi Baguette, you can take my ring and my watch, but don't take my Manolo Blahniks. -Carrie Bradshaw

I get something out of them. When I feel down, I like to treat myself. Clothes never look any good, and food just makes me fatter, but shoes always fit. - Rose Feller

Shoes like these should not be locked in a closet! They should be living a life of scandal, and passion. - Maggie Feller

Daddy! Daddy listen to me! It's like all my life everyone's told me, "You're a shoe!" "You're a shoe!" "You're a shoe!" Well, what if I don't want to be a shoe? What if I wanna be a purse or a hat? No I don't want you to buy me a hat, I'm saying I am a hat. It's a metaphor Daddy! - Rachel

No, no, no, no, too late now. You said it, it's over for me. "Here lies Carrie. She had two loves and lots o' shoes" -Carrie Bradshaw

Shoes from Christian Louboutin. A girl will just never truly know what it means to be a flirt without them. They are pure sex on a stiletto. -Stacy London

Red shoes can take you places you want to go. Just look at what they did for Dorothy. -Unknown

Cinderella is proof that a pair of shoes can change your life! -Unkown

Emotions and Esteem

2007-08-31T23:23:00.000-07:00

How is it possible for your entire perception of yourself to change so swiftly? Weeks, Days, Hours, Minutes, Seconds. A chance word, a look, a question - or the lack of them.

How did I put myself into this situation? I despair of myself.

Shooting Stars

2007-08-13T00:36:00.001-07:00

I think I could often be described as having my "head in the clouds". I scribble stories and poems of my characters and their fantastic fictions. I am immersed in their world - it is as real to me as my own. I would have expected to be more so tonight, watching the meteor shower, my eyes shining as brightly as the stars I searched for. But no. Not this night.

Tonight my head and heart are heavy with the weight of reality. It is crushing me.

2007-08-04T01:26:00.001-07:00

On July 25th of 2006, I typed this:

"

A Twist of Lemon?

Only instead of being lemony sour, this twist is hilarious. Life can be ridiculously funny. The specific ridiculous occurrence I am referring to happened this last weekend. The most wild, unexpected, silly part of my past reappeared in a very amusing way.

And I laugh - Alot - For a long time. There is no way to describe how funny I find this. Every few minutes, I think about it and start laughing again. If I went back in time a few years and told myself about this - I'd never believe myself.

Random twists of fate amuse me to no end."

And now, tonight, that twist has returned, however briefly. The crossing of paths in life are so totally unpredictable.

Aburrido en Clase

2007-07-16T15:13:00.000-07:00

La lluvia de mis ojos.

La agua de mi corazón.

Los flores de mi alma.

Sin lágrimas, soy seco.
Sin lluvia, muerto.

Trece de Julio

2007-07-14T00:51:00.000-07:00

Hoy es mi cumpleaños. Hace veinte años, yo nació. Es mucho tiempo, pero tengo mucho vida vivir. Soy muy emocionada cuando pienso mi vida futura.

Para mis cumpleaños, yo recibe algunos regalos. Tengo dos camisetas nuevas con una chaqueta cafe, una bolsa de rayas, y dinero.

Yo creo que yo necesite los zapatos nuevos ir con mi ropa nueva y para mi clase de baile. Quiere ir a comprar, amigos?

I Am Ridiculous

2007-06-29T21:56:00.000-07:00

It seems like the world has set out to poke all of my pet peeves tonight. I even discovered a new one!

Nearly anyone who knows me will be unsurprised, if not understanding, when I reveal my annoyance at people who cannot speak properly (This excludes children, people who have a different native language, etc. I am merely annoyed by those who CAN and SHOULD speak, but are too lazy and stupid to do so).

Many also delight in taking advantage of my strictly regimented holiday times. Christmas songs belong at CHRISTMAS time. Singing them in September and October destroy holidays and sap the joy from countless people, including myself.

I am also frustrated by people who ruin the endings to books, movies, jokes, or anything else. I love surprises, suspense, anticipation - those who blurt out the answer to the riddle too early are merely destroying the carefully constructed and artistic denouement.

However, it has been made clear to me that I also loathe people who use pet names without knowing me. If you do not know me, you have not earned the right or privilege to call me "honey", "dear", "sweetheart", "darling", or any other such endearments. It is patronizing, demeaning, belittling, and -most of all - infuriating! (Family, Significant Others, and Close Friends may use endearments: they have earned them. Also, this rule does not apply to the very elderly - they have the right to be patronizing, they're old.)

I am aware of my ridiculousness.

"Dance Tonight"

2007-06-25T22:46:00.000-07:00

Although totally unconnected to the purpose of this post, I feel compelled to tell you that Paul McCartney's new album is brilliant! My current happy song is "Dance Tonight". And now, to business:

I am in awe of the world we live in. Imagine a typical man making a crude comment about women: If another man lets the comment slide, it elicits no reaction from me. It is expected. If he calls him on it, I am shocked. Though a pleasant surprise, it is startling nonetheless as one does not expect it.

Isn't it sad that we calmly accept something wrong and are surprised and have doubts about someone who does the right thing and defends us? In the age of Jack Sparrow, have we done away with true gentlemen?

This is something I am still pondering. I offer my humble gratitude to the real men of our world.

Summer

2007-06-14T09:23:00.000-07:00

It has finally arrived. The joyous shouts of children and teachers can be heard everywhere. None are more excited and nervous than those who are graduating from high school and college. Last night, I attended the graduation ceremony for my cousin Nichole - Congratulations again! - where the virtues of goal-setting were praised. Though the speech sounded slightly hackneyed, the sentiment is moving nonetheless. So: Goals for the summer!

1) Spend time in the Word and in prayer every day. This is such an essential element to life that I so often procrastinate on.

2) Work hard and save money. I need it! The financial pressures of school, a temperamental vehicle, a trip to Britain, and other various life expenses have added up far too swiftly.

3) I intend to devote much of my energy to relationships: I have several to work on, both with friends, acquaintances and family.

4) Books! I have abandoned my first true love and such terrible faithlessness must be swiftly rectified. I have a long list to work through. However I believe I shall begin with: Sad Cypress (Agatha Christie), Our Mutual Friend (Charles Dickens), Perelandra (C.S. Lewis), Mere Christianity (Also C.S. Lewis), one of the Cat Who series which I own and have not yet read (Lillian Jackson Braun), and so many more!

5) Attempt to determine what my plans for next year are regarding school, life, living situations, relationships with friends and family and decide how all of those will tie together. And then make a back-up plan.

6) Make lists. Make lots of lists. I like lists. They are comforting and powerful.

7) Lure a friend into accompanying me to Montana. Ugh.

8) Excel in my Spanish class and in my Dancing class.

And there you have it. My preliminary list for summer, which will likely continue to grow.

My Favorite

2007-06-12T21:55:00.001-07:00

I love the people who walk past me and THEN realize they know me.

I do not like the people who refer to me as "this one".

Hooray for the end of finals!

Grant Me Wisdom

2007-05-30T23:13:00.000-07:00

There are times when everyone is plagued by nagging doubts. These doubts can damage self-esteem and inhibit our relationships with others. No matter how wrong you know these lies are, they can be so difficult to shake off.

What do I do when one of these lies is the only thing keeping me safe?
Do I risk myself?

Rejoicing in Change

2007-05-28T21:31:00.000-07:00

I was paid the greatest compliment a few nights ago.

I was told that I had changed.

Late Deep Thoughts

2007-05-20T22:56:00.000-07:00

It seems so odd that many of the "deep" conversations I have occur late at night, when I am in my most senseless state. It seems that the exhaustion that results in a loss of inhibition causes both silly statements as well as an ability to communicate without fear.

Prayer is the too easily over-looked essential.
Accountability is key.
Analysis, Over-analysis, or Under-analysis will change everything.
I have too many things to think about.

Open, Honest Communication keeps me up late.

A Notable Week

2007-05-12T21:40:00.000-07:00

Wednesday was my final day in CCK. After an uneventful (but thoroughly thrilling) shift, I celebrated. Cream of wheat, cottage cheese and tinned fruit, tea, water, popcorn and a suggestion of eggs were provided as a celebration feast. After this Bilbo Baggins-esque meal, the celebration was continued by Spanish studying and Lost viewing.

Friday, the first day in my new job was tiring but passed easily. I baked bread, stocked the shelves, gave away an innumerable amount of cookies, decorated Victoria Cups - and I even got to dip strawberries in chocolate! I look forward to continuing in the bakery. My first day in a new job was also followed by an interesting night. After work on Friday, I was driven into to Portland. I discovered I was to be the token "innocent, inconspicuous passerby" who would not arouse suspicion as the menacing looking young men went dumpster diving. Though, sadly, little was gained at the bookstores they had selected as our main targets, they did emerge with two CD's and eight loaves of bread. Upon returning to the base of operations, we made dumpster french toast.

I am very tired.

Closure

2007-05-06T22:52:00.000-07:00

I cleaned my room - and threw things away today.
I even tossed out four pairs of shoes!
"And that, my friend, is called closure!" - Rachel

Why do I like Spiderman?

2007-05-05T23:46:00.000-07:00

It is certainly not for his bike-scooter-thing. No. It is because of the flying through the air, narrowly missing buildings, laundry lines, air and ground vehicles and arch nemeses. If a man can do that, then there is no need for a motorcycle - cool or otherwise.

Spiderman Three was excellent. Although I expected to be disappointed, it exceeded my expectations and hopes in presenting me with an extremely enjoyable entertainment. Trailers depicted it as hectic, choppy, and confused; Much to my surprise, each storyline and villain tied into an extremely attractive and cohesive whole. I highly recommend it.

It is an excellent movie - despite the emergence of Peter Parker's "emo" persona. Because even Emo-Spidey can swing between buildings in that sexily dangerous way only our Spidey can.

Ella tiene la Sangre de Loups-Garoux

2007-05-01T14:35:00.000-07:00

"National Poetry Month" was last month. However, I feared the May's feelings should be injured so I chose to celebrate "The Month After National Poetry Month"!

Wolves run in a pack,
and I do not want to be alone.
The one will Fall.

Crowds and numbers,
Therein lay my single safety.
Until his Call.

He will be there,
solely to love and defend.
He is My All.

21 Choices

2007-04-28T22:49:00.000-07:00

"These are 21 things that I want in a lover
Not necessarily needs but qualities that I prefer
I figure I can describe it since I have a choice in the matter
These are 21 things I choose to choose in a lover

I'm in no hurry I could wait forever
I'm in no rush cuz I like being solo
There are no worries and certainly no pressure in the meantime
I'll live like there's no tomorrow"
-Alanis Morisette, 21 Things I Want in a Lover

Alanis made me think of the lists Mr. Hayley had us write in junior high - mine has certainly changed! So, an updated version. Unlike Alanis, most of what I list is a need, rather than a preferment. Preferences will be marked by italic print.

Do you devote yourself to the Lord wholly?
Are you also devoted to your family?
Do you treat women with respect?
Am I able to respect and admire you?
Are you worthy of favorable notice?
Will you indulge me in my ridiculous obsession with language?
Will you even be interested and intrigued by what I write?
Will you watch Lost? Although I could not give up Lost for you, I do hope you'll be able to join me. However, not watching Lost is not quite a good enough reason to pass an otherwise amazing guy.
Will you understand when I need you to stop laughing at me?
Will you not make me fearful?
Will you remember my birthday and organize a surprise party?
Do my friends and family approve of you?
Will you listen to my innumerable questions?
Will you advise me without undermining my intelligence?
Will you look after me when I am sick or hurting?
Will you let me return the favor?
Will you be honest with me and tell me you are having doubts?
Will you let me name our son Jamie?
Will I be allowed to tease and plague you, provided I make it up to you after?
Will you make me laugh?
Are your friends bearable? If you got all the others, I can put up with pretty annoying friends for you.

Beautiful Nonsense

2007-04-22T22:18:00.000-07:00

A paragraph of nonsense, nonetheless enjoyable (to me), as it is written with my favorite words. The list is growing... and so will my nonsensical tale.

The phoenix sparks in a zephyr. A classic chandelier of power and pleasure sparkles elegantly above the beribboned and bejeweled nobility of the world. Essential to the duskiness and entrancing as the mystically silver sliver of a crescent moon. The hero and lord of the hold is exuberant and enchanting in his naivety and maddening gentility. In retrospect, one must pardon his chat rather than censuring his flickering youth. The passion of Fate and the eloquence of Fortune. My pleasure is culpable in the shame of his feather-caress. Alas for the juxtaposition of psyche and soul.

Slave of Nimue

2007-04-19T22:26:00.000-07:00

It is no wonder that every human from the ancients to modern man has gazed heavenward. The night sky is the most enchanting thing I have ever seen. The magic of the stars and the dark expanse of sky and the moon - full and strong or mystically sliver thin. It is utterly entrancing.

I am held captive by the magic of the night.

Fictional Heroes

2007-04-09T00:18:00.000-07:00

An incomplete list of characters from fiction, the traits I admire in them, and why they exemplify these traits in my mind.

If only Chris Osborn was fictional, he would be at the top of the list.

Love: Kate, from The Hollow Kingdom - She loved her sister dearly. Sacrificing all that she held dear, Kate agreed to marry the Goblin King so he would spare young Emily.

Joy: Robin Hood, from Disney version - His exuberant spirit and refusal to be brought down by Prince John's depressing oppression fills my heart with joy, just as it did the people/animals of Nottingham.

Peace: Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the U.S.S. Enterprise, in Star Trek: The Next Generation - One of Starfleet's finest officers may have been a belligerent youth, however the dignified Captain Jean-Luc is anything but. He is an advocate of peace, an gentle explorer and wishes only to learn.

Selflessness: Jack Shephard, from Lost - He is not the most dynamic or engaging character. He is not even my favorite character. However, I respect Jack. He works hard and sacrifices himself to ensure the survival of others, despite continual obstacles and thankless survivors. Jack is a selfless hero.

Patience: Elinor, from Mallory's tales of King Arthur: A true gentlewoman, she loved Lancelot whole-heartedly and waited for him. Only once did she challenge the adulterous Guinevere.

Kind Nobility: Peter Pevensie, from The Chronicles of Narnia - He defended those he loved and did not give way to fear. He is easily one of my favorite male characters from fiction.

Goodness: Matthias, from Redwall - Though Matthias made some mistakes in his youthful naivete, he still seems one of the most thoroughly "good" characters I find. He unselfishly defends, he is diligent and earnest, and totally incorruptible.

Faith: Lucy Pevensie, from the Chronicles of Narnia - her faith is unrivaled. Should I will stumble across my own Narnia, I hope I have the faith to believe it.

Gentility: Jane Bennet, from Pride and Prejudice. I admire Jane's gentle and sweet spirit.

Self-Control: Faramir, from The Lord of the Rings - He did not give way to temptation.

Strength: Juliette, from Lost - Whether good or evil, true or traitor, she has characteristics I very much admire. She is strong, courageous, independent, loving - and she tackled Kate.

Independence: Elizabeth Bennet, from Pride and Prejudice - I also envy Lizzy's strength and courage.

Courage: Eowyn of Rohan, from Tolkein's Lord of the Rings Trilogy - She battled against vicious opponents, physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. Her victory is triumphantly spectacular.

Fearless Confidence: Queen Gorgo, from 300 - Strong, sexy, and confident. The modern idea of a woman - thousands of years before her time. At least - according to Hollywood.

A Plea

2007-04-03T13:10:00.001-07:00

Lord, give me Strength.

The Witching Hour

2007-03-29T22:32:00.000-07:00

The night is back. The cool dark air caresses warm skin, bathing away the heat of the day, more soothing than water. The vibrant, magic smell comforts me. Diamonds are nestled against a soft velvet sky. I love the duskiness; I love the twilight; I love the stars and the moon and slender silvery clouds that slip across my sky. As the night strengthens, so do I strengthen. My witching hour has come.

My familiar and I must be nocturnal.

Last Fall: http://myrrhthebrit.blogspot.com/2006/09/night-heated-air-of-day-is-cooling.html

"Un-Amusement"

2007-03-27T07:19:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a roller coaster.

I hate roller coasters - however, the ones you have to live are even worse. Tension, Joy, Uncertainty, Reassurance, Distance. I do hope that certain things will make more sense soon. And I am pleased to watch new relationships grow between people I love.

Two of my very good friends will be in Portland this week, serving the homeless community - My prayers and thoughts will be with you!

Blinking and Spartans

2007-03-18T12:28:00.000-07:00

Things certainly change quickly. You are happy with where you are at and are ready to *blink* you are confused and lost and lonely. It's a funny old world, isn't it?

On an unrelated topic... Anyone want to join us in dressing up like Spartans for Halloween? Slightly premature costume design, I know.... But Elia and I would never have gotten David to sign our contract if we hadn't have just come out of the theatre. Besides - like David, you will probably need to time to build up some amazing Spartan muscles... or learn how to fake them with makeup.

A Car As A Metaphor

2007-03-11T01:11:00.000-08:00

I am quite sure that any one of my few readers know of my passionate love for metaphors and similes, among other literary tools. However, this one brings me nothing but devastation.

My car is a mess.
I have made excuses, I have tried to hide it, I have tried to ignore it.
I am ashamed and afraid.

It was not until today that I realized how it is very like my life.

A heart-wrenching metaphor -not because of any eloquence on my part, but because of accuracy.

Ten Heroes

2007-03-05T23:16:00.000-08:00

Anonymous descriptions of ten of the most important people in my life. I wish I had about thirty more blanks to fill though...

1. You rarely check this - unless you are bored of minesweeper at work - so, it will probably be a while before you read this. However, it is amazing that you still put up with me and I hope you know, despite my heartless tongue, I care about you alot. We may have made a 'book' about the things you supposedly do wrong - but the sequel (about what you do right) is significantly larger.
2. I miss you my crazy friend! You are my "favoritest" person and the only one endearing enough to make me say "favoritest". I wish I got to see you more.

3. You have introduced me to so many wonderful people, things, and experiences. You are my shopping buddy, mi amigo, and good-luck charm/"hot-beard". I'm glad I got dared into knowing you. I know you hate the term... but you're one of my B.F.F.'s.

4. I miss you more than anyone. I wish I wasn't so stupid and selfish.

5. I remember how glad I was when we met - I was so nervous at that party, because I didn't know anyone. But you were so friendly, I felt comfortable in no time. Dr. Jem will be famous because of you and your animalian talent, mi amiga bonita.

6. Another person who probably won't see this. I was meant to influence you for good - and I think I corrupted you. Oops. ;) I'm glad we have fun though. Your poor brother. Haha.

7. No one would ever have predicted our friendship a few years ago, my nerdy vampire friend.

8. I miss living with you! All my U-hall girls are so far away now.... :(

9. It is cool that we got the chance to become friends, even if people can't actually tell we are friends, since we spend so much time hating each other. Remember when Jared thought we really did hate each other? That was funny.

10. You are my oldest friend. I am so thrilled that I get to talk to you now. :) It is pretty cool to have had a friend since birth.

Home Late and Up Early

2007-02-25T22:45:00.000-08:00

My Weekend.

Serving the homeless and the world-worn.
Witnessing a massive fire as someone's home was destroyed.
Reading.

Home late and Up early.

Being shouted and cursed at while at work.
Being searched at work.
Celebrating a dear friend's birthday.
Being late, Being hungry.
Being shocked, Being scared.
Being tired, Being silly.
Reading.

Home late and Up early.

Sitting in service, thinking about secrets.
Reading.
Cheap (but happy) lunchtime.
Playing and competing at work.
Staying late at work.

Up Late... and Facing another Early Morning.

2007-02-15T23:11:00.000-08:00

Things I am Mad about:

Obtuse cats that shelter under moving cars; Grotesquely large and inconveniently placed plant barrels; Glass that shatters far too willingly;

Coughs that plague and tickle and attack one's throat for hours at a time; Valentines Day; Teachers who do not care about their subject
and turn their class into an "I hate Republicans" class.

Work; Stress; Perverts; No time; Sleepiness; Illness; and

Boys:

-the unsympathetic ones who laugh at your bad day
or try to say how much worse off they are (When they aren't)
-the lying and vengeful ones
-the adorable but infuriatingly dense ones
-the bad actors who only barely manage conceal how happy they are
when they think you've just broken up (or will be breaking up soon)

And particularly:
-the foul, juvenile, inappropriate ones that could lose their job
if I reported what they said

and in an effort to make myself feel better....
Things I am Glad about:

Pollyanna.
Books; Fun teachers who love their students almost as much as their subject; Medicine; Friends; Bible Study Groups; Cinnamon Rolls; Cranberries; Water; Blankets;
TEA!

Girls:
-the ones who are there for me to gossip and giggle with
-the ones who are there to give me a hug or to talk when I need it

Boys:
-the ones that care enough to ask
-the ones that care enough to help
-the ones that care

Flame

2007-02-11T01:14:00.000-08:00

Phoenix

Streaking orange flame against blue sky, it plummets to earth.

The orange feathers shimmer with heat. A spark jumps, then ignites. Flames char the feathers and consume the flesh. Smoke chokes the fiery child of the sun. Ashes fall over an orange egg until the egg is buried and the bird is gone.

Ashes, all that remains are the ashes. The world mourns lost beauty.

The ashes stir, though the air is still. A small, disproportionate bald head tremulously emerges, blinking ashes from startled eyes.

The phoenix is reborn.

Dragon

“A dragon is enveloped by flame, living in flame, addicted to flame. Breath of fire. Boiling tears. Burning hot scales and spines. Passionate heat of hatred and jeweled jealousy gives them strength. The fires that lick at our world are tame – the echo of a memory. Dragons will consume: destroy, pillage, burn, devour. Fire is the essence of a dragon – focused and strengthened. A dragon's fire can not be tamed and controlled. Only a fool would attempt to barter their life with a dragon. The dragons are cunning, clever, calculating – and greedy.
You will die.”

-Rahel (chapter seven of The Tutor) warning his apprentice against her mission.

Though I am skittish of flames, these are inexplicably two of my favorite mythical creatures.

Coming up... (as soon as I find my notebook!) werewolves!

My First Accident

2007-01-28T22:04:00.000-08:00

I was extremely nervous this winter - with snow and ice covering our roads, I feared to drive. However, I did just fine. With just a few minor slips and one narrow escape, I felt I had learned my lesson. I was relieved at the return to sunny skies. However, Fate can be very harsh.

On a sunny Friday morning, after a terrible week, I was preparing to celebrate the end. Nearing my home, listening to the radio, enjoying the sun, and planning my day, I had no idea that a maliciously large yellow school bus was approaching.

As I neared the stop sign, I braked. Horrified, I realized a school bus was coming around the corner - and it was taking up the entire road. I attempted to stop, but there was no where to go. I was headed straight for it. I skidded to a halt.... and the bus clipped my car.

Police, lies, accusations, angry bus drivers, thrilled school children... and my beautiful car damaged. Three hellish hours left me ill and upset for the rest of the day.

I have a phobia of school buses now.

Thoughts on Orange Beverages

2007-01-15T08:45:00.000-08:00

Associated with good fortune, the orange blossom is a fashionable choice for bridal bouquets and wedding decorations. Oranges even taste lucky. Can taste buds distinguish between good luck and bad luck?

The petals of the orange blossom can be used to form a "citrus-y" version of rosewater. Orange blossom water is a common beverage in the Middle East. The blossom can also be dried and used to make tea, as it is in Spain. Sweet orange oil, pressed from the peel, is used as a flavoring in many drinks. However, by far the most popular drink made with oranges, is orange juice.

This juice is produced primarily in Brazil, followed closely by Florida. It is a popular source of Vitamin C and Potassium and is sometimes enriched with Calcium and Vitamin D, essentials not typically found in oranges.

Orange Juice is mentioned in the cult classic film, Fight Club. Tyler Durden, founder of the Fight Club and Project Mayhem claims that explosives can be made from Orange Juice and Gasoline. Another literary and film proponent of Orange Juice is P. G. Wodehouse's character, Augustus "Gussie" Fink-Nottle, noted newt fancier. When preparing to propose, and advised to have a stiff drink to steady his nerves, Gussie opts for orange juice.

There is a proper way to drink Orange Juice. It is essential that the carton be shaken before pouring. This is for two reasons. Firstly, this stops the settling of the pulp, mixing it throughout the drink. When you pour it into your waiting glass, the pulp is evenly distributed for your enjoyment. Secondly, shaking the beverage makes it frothy. As one tips the tall glass into an eager mouth, the froth and foam of the juice tickles pleasantly.

A classic drink, often associated with breakfast, orange juice is popular with adults and children alike. So, pour yourself a glass of orange juice - or a virgin screwdriver.

Death Dream

2007-01-15T08:37:00.000-08:00

I was shot last night.

I tried to get away from them. Speeding towards Gresham, my car was pushed to its limits. But they still got ahead of me. I tried to swerve around them, but I couldn't. They ran me off the road. Frozen, terrified, pinned - I could not get away.

He climbed into the car, gun in hand. Smiled. Aimed.

I didn't hear the shot. I didn't feel the shot. But I felt the hot sticky blood seeping from my side. I turned. Another shot, and more blood covered my back. Another shot, and the blood came from my head.

"Goodbye." I whispered. The car door slammed as he left. Passing drivers stopped to look for me, but it was too late.

I am gone.

Mens Sana

2006-12-29T09:10:00.000-08:00

(This is a post from an earlier blog, and one of my favorites. Don't try to make sense of this. You'll only get a headache.)

Thank You

2006-12-18T22:10:00.000-08:00

"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly." Matthew 11:28-30

I am extremely grateful to the original speaker and to the person who directed my attention to it. I needed it. Thank You.

Time Changes

2006-12-13T00:11:00.000-08:00

When I think about where I was in my life last Christmas, I am amazed. There have been so many changes! I would never have pictured myself here. With these people. With these plans. With these emotions. With these dreams and hopes and fears.

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord."

Though I knew this verse, I doubted it last year. I couldn't believe that He was right - I knew what I wanted, I knew that it was good, and I knew I was angry at the Lord for taking it from me. Of course, I healed and got over it. However, I was still quite sure that my life would have been best had I been given "my way". And now, a year later, I see how very wrong I was.

If my plans had been carried out, my life would be absolutely miserable right now. I lost a significant amount of things that were important to me last Christmas, but I would have lost more. I would have lost myself.

Instead, I have been given a simply wonderful early Christmas present (as I explained to someone, SOME early presents are excusable). Instead, I am truly happy. Instead, I am healthy and balanced. Instead... I waited for what the Lord had for me.

Instead... He was right.

A Happy Catastrophe

2006-12-12T00:10:00.000-08:00

Finding a totally blissful moment can be so rare - I am thrilled to say I have had a blissful day. Actually - the whole month of December has been pretty much amazing. The only bad part? Christmas presents!

Guys are almost impossible to shop for. Why have I surrounded myself by guy friends? It is a recipe for Christmas disaster.

Aging Tattoos

2006-11-23T09:58:00.000-08:00

(Disclaimer: This is a satirical post, exaggerating a theory put forth by someone I know.)

When contemplating a tattoo, many detractors instantly say "you'll regret it when you are older". Critics say "When you are sixty or seventy, it is going to look ugly and unattractive". However, I urge you to ponder this logic. A brief moment of thought reveals that this reasoning is totally flawed, flimsy and far-fetched. Do not use this excuse to justify your fear of needles, pain, and attractive tattoos.

At sixty or seventy, one is no longer attractive anyway. In fact, 60 and 70 year olds are generally quite unattractive. An unappealing tattoo will hardly have that much affect.

America's Growing Problem

2006-11-20T07:07:00.000-08:00

(Disclaimer: This is a satirical post, exaggerating a theory put forth by someone I know.)

While shopping with an anonymous person, we wandered past a shop for 'plus sizes', the window full of glittering, attractive clothes and fabulous looking 'plus sized' mannequins.

Why is obeseness encouraged in our society? People worry about the growing growth in America. Researchers say that in a few short years, if America continues to gain weight at the same rate, over ninety percent of American's will not be overweight. Something must be done! But what is the solution?

One I have heard is that if obese people were encouraged in their overweight ways, of course they would never change. The solution? Discourage them! Don't sell attractive clothing for people who are overweight. If they want the nice clothes, they will work to merit them.

This is simply a matter of motivation, incentives, and positive reinforcement for achievement.

Accessorize!

2006-11-10T14:46:00.000-08:00

(Disclaimer: This is a satirical post, exaggerating a theory put forth by someone I know.)

Many women dream of finding the "perfect little black cocktail dress". This "perfect" dress is so desirable because it is a timeless classic that can become trendy with the right accessories. However, what we now need to examine is how we accessorize. Are we overlooking some of the most important accessories to our outfit?

While shopping for shoes, handbags, and jewelry, someone observed to me that certain accessories - living acessories - are often overlooked. For example - your pet. Does your cat match your shoes or your bag? Does your dog wear a coat that clashes with your favorite skirt? An otherwise perfect outfit can be devastated by an unseemly accessory.

And what about your spouse? Is your husband's slovenly appearance detracting from your own? Or does he complement you and your ensemble?

Women - Have we allowed unappealing accessories to ruin us?